Monday, September 28, 2009

Baby Steps

I'm feeling sad right now. Which is a bit of an understatement.

I guess I'm "all-out-of-sorts". That's a better way to put it.

I'm feeling connected to small, quiet, slow things. I want to be a snail, slowly meandering down a leaf. I think the desire to take it slow is my bodys' way of telling me that I am about to over-do it.

I'm focusing in on little things. Which I've been taking pictures of lately but not actually stopping to appreciate.

When we go hiking Adam and I see these little signs, directing us down a path. And something about them always calls to me. The simplicity of a sign on a tree, pointing you in the right direction. I wish that life was as simple as a hike.

I want to be tiny. And see the world like this. With the moss as tall as trees. And the whole world unfocused and beautiful.

More signs. Sometimes they're hard to interpret. This is a green stamp on a tree. I know it means we're on the green path. But can a color define the steps you're taking? Can it tell you what you'll see or who you will meet? I know I know. I'm waxing poetic, and not artfully at that...

I'm coping with these new feelings. Some people I talked to this weekend mentioned that the universe has felt 'out of whack' lately. And I agree. I feel as though I've been living in a bubble for the last two months. And maybe this weekend has helped me pop that bubble and get back out into myself. I've been hiding from things that need to be done and said. And it feels like there's no time for that anymore.

But I'm going to slip out of my isolation slowly. I'm going to measure my steps. I don't feel the need to run pell mell into anything. I need to take baby steps.

I'm worried that if I run I'll fall and break into a million pieces. Like a porcelain doll.

I'm going to sit, and cover myself in soft things, comforting clothes and words and feelings. I'm going to draw myself free, write myself free, and slowly move towards my true path.

The embroidery is helping. Small measured stitches, knitting everything together...

I might need some Ursula K LeGuin to help me. She always keeps me in this mood, this world. Which is where I feel I need to be. Patient. Open to change. Ready for anything because your soul and even the world itself is your rock, your support.

In the meantime I feel like the huddled figure in this picture. Holding myself together with my hands and my thoughts.

I'm sending out some love to those who need it. Please understand if I don't get back to you right away these days. I'm coming out of my coccoon and it's going to take some time before I'm ready for the regular grind again.

In the meantime, please remember to send kind words and love to those close to you. And know that you're loved.


Thursday, September 24, 2009

Small things

I've been wandering the wastes of the interwebs lately.

I'm feeling like I'm doing too much and not doing anything at all at the same time.

I'm really feeling discombobulated and I'm not sure why. Maybe the change in season?

Reading The Master and Margarita. About 3/4 of the way through now. I'm gonna move to 1900's Russia STAT. Highly recommended book.

Working on a new goal of an eventual crazy quilt. Piecing individual squares of color. I've done red and blue, and I'm working on yellow. I'm still not sure how big I want it to be. It's my first 'real' quilt. Since the Chuppa was more of a giant art thingy.

I'm trying to use up all my weird little scraplets. Here's blue and red so far. I'm experimenting with embroidery styles around all the edges. They're about 12 1/4" square.

I'm not doing much writing lately, but I am taking a lot of photos of things. Margaret Oomen has inspired me (which she does every few days I think) to stop and look closer at things. Click them to embiggen.

And I've discovered the joy of taking purposely blurry photos. I focused the camera on my hand and then removed it. This photo strikes me as delicious for some reason.

More substantive posts soon I hope.



Monday, September 7, 2009

Liar and the Duke, also, blogged out

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I have found facebook to be more of a time suck than I planned for. Also I've been doing a LOT of reading preview copies for the bookstore I work at.

I'm particularly excited about the book LIAR by Justine Larbalestier.

Oh wow.

Read it! Well, when it comes out. Which is soon! I will remind you. I promise.

I wish I could talk about it but I really really don't want to give away any spoilers.

Here's a great little review I found of it that does a far better job than I could. Click here.

I'm so glad I read the review copy before she comes to our little bookstore in October. Now I'm really excited to meet her! I need to research her and read all of her books now I think.

I've been all over the place brain wave wise. Mostly this Labor Day Weekend was about me getting over my fear of long drives alone and the highway.

Both goals. Achieved.


Here's my early birthday duke. We'll say he's a placeholder until I have the chutzpah to write a real post.

Adam gave him to me before running off to do his own thing this weekend. I can't believe he had the super awesome power of seeing into my secret thoughts to know how much I wanted the Duke. He is the best husband ever.

I think the Duke got a bit sick of driving. I made him navigate in the passenger seat the whole time.

See more wonderful creatures like him by the super awesome NINON. Here's a link to her etsy shop. Click me.

Her flickr stream is fun too. Here's more of her monstris. Click me next!

I will see you again soon. Promise.