Monday, December 22, 2008

Cemetery Sunday

Ran around the Kenisco Cemetery in Valhalla, NY on Sunday with Adam.

I love Cemeteries. Always have.

They have a beauty to them. Something about being so somber and quiet.

And I'm a sucker for attractive architectural details, and cemeteries are chock full of those.

All weird and pseudo neo-classical, or wacky faux egyptian. 

I particularly adore the Pere LaChaise cemetery in Paris, which I visited with Peter ages ago. You can't tell from the virtual tour so much. But walking around that cemetary is like being in a village full of teensy houses. They're all mausoleums of course though.

It was no Pere LaChaise, but the Kenisco one was nice.

We tried to wander around but it was SO cold that we just drove about. There are lots of little roundabouts. We kept going in little circles. Which was easy in our little VW Rabbit.

Of course, I knew that someone or somebody important was going to be there that I hadn't researched before we went. Lo and Behold. I went to their website. People whose graves or memorials I wish I had looked for include Danny Kaye and Sergei Rachmaninoff.

But hey. It was lovely all the same.

It still had cute little tiny houses. 

And somewhere in there was a pyramid, but we never did get close to it. I want to go back when it's not ten degrees outside and actually get close to some of these monuments.

A lot of them have those little stained glass windows behind fancy ironwork doors. 

I love the little houses! Can you tell?



Thursday, December 18, 2008



Who knew?

So far this week (engagement week as I've been calling it in my head) almost none of my friends or family have been particularly surprised that I proposed. Some may even be said to have been 'congratulatory'.

But not a one of my friends or family seemed super surprised. (Though I can't blame them too much, I've been asking questions and dropping nervous hints to everyone but him for weeks).

My theory is that most of 'my people' know that I like to do things my way. I have a tendency to be a bit stubborn sometimes, and I like to fight for freedom and individuality all the time (on my own terms of course). So to one of my friends or coworkers, it comes as little to no surprise that I would propose.



A woman.


Doesn't surprise them.

Apparently it doesn't work that way for everyone.

It's very interesting.

My taller half has been getting a lot of flak for not being the one to propose. And I'm really surprised. Apparently it's still very strange and appalling for a woman to propose.

Now wait a minute.

How long has the country been fighting for same sex marriage? (not always winning but still?)

How long have women been able to vote?

How long have we had the right to choose?

How long have we been able to get fancy powerful jobs (like the president of Ithaca College of past years, Peggy Williams)?

How long have we been able to wear pants? Have a career? Pursue our happiness and ours alone?

How long has it been since we've had 'A Room of Ones Own'?

And yet.

And yet, we can't propose?

I'm honestly astounded.

Turns out quite a lot of 'his people' have been very negative.

I really feel flabbergasted.

Not really angry or upset, but really just astonished.

I mean, Really?


Come on. Half the country voted for Obama. We're getting equal racial rights slowly. I still want equal female rights too! Let's not drop one ball for the other.

I want it all! Rights for all!

And let me tell you. I don't feel bad. Or wrong, or anything.

I'm proud to have proposed, and to be engaged, by my own hand.

It's a promise. A promise between us.

And I don't 'need a ring too' as some people have suggested.

WE have a ring!

A promise ring!

Why promise twice?!

We're gonna both have rings when we get married.


Help me out folks.

What is the deal????

Where is this weird stuff coming from? All these feelings from people? Equality? Where is it? I thought I had it!

And I really want to know. From people who agree that it's weird that I did it. That it's weird that I proposed.

Why? Why is it weird?

I mean. If we were lesbians trying to get married, I'd at least be a little more prepared for everyone looking at us funny.

I'm spoiled as a short white female in a heterosexual relationship, I know I am. I have a lot of freedoms and liberty that some of my friends would be envious to have. So of course, having a lot of privilege, even a small amount of discrimination chafes more than it should I suppose.

But I still don't understand.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


So. It's here. I'm engaged!

Monday night I proposed on the walk home with Adam.

He said yes!

I know I'm so wily doing it, me being the woman and all. But I want it, and I decided to go for it! Though I can't take full responsibility for being cool and a fully modern woman.

At one point while discussing marriage, Adam did suggest it some months ago.

But either way!


This is us from over the summer. See how cute he is?!

How insane!

I went to say something about 'my boyfriend' today and stumbled over my words. He's 'my fiancee' now.

I'm really just tired and overwhelmed or I'd write more story about how it all went down.



Sunday, December 14, 2008

Soft trees

The Boodely got me going on soft trees last year, but this year I'm actually making them! See little Pippi from Kitlane for a sense of scale. They're all close to four inches tall. Two of them are up at my etsy shop for sale. Cheap!

More soon.


Friday, December 12, 2008


Feeling a bit random and eclectic in my thoughts today.

Someone in the other room just yelled 'Swedish Fish!'


I had a funny moment today, looking up from my book on the elevated train over the bridge.

"Soon this will be a memory."

In exactly one week I will be taking quite possibly my last trips on the J, M, Z train during that hour, at that time of the morning. Maybe ever, at any time of day.

It's weird when you can actually feel the winds of change, blowing over you, about to suck you in.

It may be my own choice to enter into such weirdness and throw myself out of whack, but it's still weird and hard to manage.

Liberating and stifling all at once.

I can look back at the times of major change in my life. Sometimes I remember the last time I did something or saw something unique to my life at the time. Sometimes the last time I did something wasn't memorable.

I don't remember my last ride on a double decker bus in London, even though I rode them every day for six months practically.

I don't remember my last day of college particularly.

I don't remember how I felt the first or last time I took a greyhound bus.

But I do remember-

the day I left Maryland to go to college.

the day my cat died.

the day my little brother was born, all the way down to the details of going to the hospital that night.

the first day I realized that my mother wasn't omniscient and godlike.

the night I realized that I was in love with my current partner.

It's funny how change is sometimes this large, overpowering thing.

And sometimes it just happens. It's just another day in your life. Just another moment washed away in the sea of moments you experience every day and couldn't possibly log in your memory.

I guess I won't really know how this goes until it's over. But right now it feels huge and overpowering.

And good.

I'm anxious, but feeling positive for the future. I'm looking forward to the wave washing over me and taking me somewhere new.


Friday, December 5, 2008


Feeling funny again while travelling on the train lately. 

Having weird dreams.

Last night I was on a train, looking at the scenery. And there were huge scoops out of the ground. Big deep holes. It was scary. Adam told me in my dream that they were for salt mines, or maybe for subway tunnels. I don't remember. Later I dreamed about high schools and zombies and people getting upset at each other as society broke down.


I would blame my anxiety on my entire world changing this month and next, but everyone at work and home is a bit edgy and having trouble sleeping too, so maybe it's the weather or the stars or something.


Travelling into Manhattan in the morning (which I go through to get to South Williamsburg, Brooklyn) is different lately. I approach on an angle on the train, and the train turns, so I get a good north-looking-south view of Manhattan right before we cross the East River. 

Today it looked like we live and work on the top of the world.

The sky was a pure, clean and clear blue. Dotted with full and creamy, clumpy, puffy white white clouds.

It looked like all these tall, pokey buildings were poking up into the sky, into the ceiling of the world. Up into the heavens.

I don't really have any good pictures of Manhattan, strangely. I've been here over three years. This photo though, does do my feelings about it a bit of justice. It captures a bit of the blue and clouds and wonder I feel when I turn certain corners in the city.

I guess I've never been much for photos of people. Most of my photos are of architecture or sky or animals or weird inanimate objects. And when I see Manhattan in my minds eye, it's not about the people. It's about the shapes towering and walking in the sky.

I picked up some more Ursula K LeGuin at the library. God I love libraries. I like to own books too, don't get me wrong. But libraries are free. And text and worlds and love and life being free is so important. I believe strongly that even if you have your own special books at home, they only live by being read. And that there's nothing sadder than shelves full of books who will never be read again. If you have your own books you must read them, or lend them, or pass them on. They shouldn't stay and turn to dust without being read.

So I picked up more Ursula K LeGuin. And she always puts me in a bit of a mood. She brings out the inner shaman, the inner strong woman in me. It's hard to describe, but when I read her fiction, especially her short fiction that is less sci-fi and more pseduo-cultural-anthropological I just get in a bit of a mood.

It's sort of good. And sort of odd. 

I feel poetic. I feel as though it's easier to access my psyche, my inner words are no longer hiding from me. They spring to mind unbidden.

This morning poetry jumped to mind as we turned that corner and I saw Manhattan. Saw the fingers of everyone reaching into the sky. Saw the dreams and hopes and worries and fears and cares embodied by these sky scrapers. Sky reachers. Sky takers.

It's unspeakably strange to go from just moving and breathing and living to looking up at the city and feeling poetry. Being poetry.

It's too hard.

I realized the other day, with a start, that my favorite author is not HPL. I had thought he was for the longest time. Thought he was my author-savior. My permanent fixture. "Favorite Author". And then, with a start, I knew it wasn't him anymore. 

If I had to choose one author whose works I could take to the moon, or a desert island, or wherever it is, it would be her. 

I could live in her works forever.

HPL, though truly awesome in his power to take me to weird and interesting places, will never be able to capture the human soul the way that LeGuin can. 

And that's why she's my favorite. 

I wish I could meet her.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

More bears

I meant to talk about this piece when I wrote about little Orange-ee the bean bear, but I was so busy I forgot!

It's fun and exciting! I got a fabulous print of voila!

The fabulous Masked Bear! There was some initial heartache, but Bear came in the mail and is making me very very happy. I heartily recommend the fabulous stylings of the Zukzuk artiste Helen. So very good!

I have loved bears for quite a long time. In fact, my primo best friend as a child was aptly named 'Beary'. And he is still with me. To this day. Sometimes he even sleeps in the bed, though mostly he sits with the other animals on a shelf lately.

He doesn't mind.

Bears are sweet, but in person maybe a bit scary. We went to the Bronx zoo and saw a for real brown bear last wednesday. They're large and sort of scary. And we saw a polar bear. It was eating some animal that had fallen into its area. I think it was a possum. Not very pleasant.

But! There's always the 'Bears Upstairs'. I loved that story as a child. Bears! Living in a hotel! How crazy is that? I just looked them up. I guess it's out of print. It's by Dorothy Haas. I forgot that they're from the planet Bruin. I sort of want to read it again. I remember loving it as a kid. It's available used online. Here's a link to a photo of the cover that I remember as a child. So great.





Tuesday, November 25, 2008

32 flavors hat

I did it! I took photos of both the sister and the fabulous hat at once! This is her wearing the hat at Kenisco Dam. Yay for nifty dams in Westchester County! They're pretty.

Here's another photo. For those of you who want closeup goodness. She is a very good little model. You can tell it was really really cold. Just standing still was difficult in the cold.

The colors on my monitor look a little muted. This is one heckuva colorful hat! I really do think the other skein may be a good arm warmer or leg warmer combo with this hat.

So yes. Go to Rivulette's shop and buy more yarn from her! She does have one skein of this left last I checked. It will make a hat a bit bigger than this size! I have a bit left over from that first skein still.

So we have a sister in the house. She seems happy to be running around NYC while me and the mate are off at work. She has discovered St. Marks place. And last night I took her to Williamsburg near where I work so she could experience the bizarre hipster restaurant which is 'Sea'. Thai wackiness. It feels like you're in a posh club/warehouse with cool lights and techno music playing. And the food is really really good.

Today she promises me she will go see Chinatown. I hope she likes it. 

Off to work!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Bear bears

This is Orangee the bean bear. He's very cute. Visit him at my etsy shop if you love him as much as I do!

I am feeling much better. Orange versus Blue. There's a lot of change happening in my life right now, and I'm excited for it. It's scary, but exciting.

I am changing jobs, and very happy to be doing something new. More on that soon. Right now my work involves me helping to make sure the people who are replacing me are up to speed and ready to go for next year.

In other news, right now me and the monkey man are cleaning the house and doing dishes and restocking our pantry because my little sister is visiting. She arrives tonight!

I am finally at a point in my life when I was A: living right near NYC, and B: could afford to bring my California bound sister to visit (I bought the ticket, roundtrip sadly). And of course, C: she's the right age (teenager) for visiting on her own!

All good things. And who as a teenager didn't want to visit NYC to visit with their slightly older nifty sister?

So I'm excited to host her here with us two for a week. We'll do fun thanksgiving adventures and maybe I will get to show her backstage at a show or two I've worked on (have to ask first though). And we'll visit the relatives up in Connecticut that are only two hours away but we never visit. :(

More other news:

I knit a hat from the yarn I bought at Rivulettes Etsy Shop but I haven't had time to post a picture. Soon it will be forthcoming. Turns out that 32 flavors is a really bizarre yarn to make a hat with. But really really nifty. I'm thinking about making some mini leg warmers or arm warmers with the other skein.

Ooops. Time to do dishes. More postings soon.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Blue blah


Feeling a bit blue today.

Been having anxiety dreams lately. For the last week or so I guess.

I picked up 'The Rhinoceros' by Ionesco yesterday at the library. I'm excited to finally read it, but in the middle of a mad knitting project so I'm not sure when I will get to it. I feel like it's probably on my wavelength right about now.

I'm pretty lucky that way. I have a tendency to find the books I need right when I need them. I guess on the train tomorrow morning I'll have to listen to the call of the text and jump in.

I've strangely also had an incredibly overactive imagination lately. Just full of ideas for new creatures and things to make. Not enough time, ever, to make them all. Not even to sketch out all the plans. 

One day.

I was walking down a strange subway tunnel this evening, on my commute home, and there was a sweet little group of kids and young teenage things singing/humming. It was almost a religious sound, but it wasn't really christian or any other sort of religion. It was kind of like a hummed/partially sung scale of sounds. It was really lovely. I wanted to stay and listen but stopping in a fluorescent lit tunnel of cranky NYC commuters wasn't up my alley at that moment. But it was a nice moment.

For all that this city can get to me, there are always little bits of almost every day like that. Something pleasant and sweet, that you would only find in a big city.

Missing something key in my life right now. I think it might be other creatives. They're here, on the internet, in the blog and etsy world. But I think I need to join a craft group or something and actually, physically, meet with some more creatives. 

Need the physicality of people.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Fall Leaves

In love with the fall leaves this time of year. Amazingly, they're still here. Often times lately it feels like we get a harsh frost that takes all our leaves away, and then there still isn't snow for ages and ages.

But this fall, we are blessed with leaves.

I am slightly obsessed with the idea of making a blanket covered with fabric leaves, but have yet to actually start that project. I know it's at least a year long endeavor, and it's hard to start projects like that without feeling a bit of worry that you'll never get around to finishing them. Though I have yet to have a project I can work on whenever I want, and that would make a good one.

I really love living in the northeast of Northern America. The seasons, the weather, it is all quite agreeable to me. I even like the cold icky winters. Though they do get tiresome after awhile. 

I'm excited to make butternut squash soup, or pumpkin cupcakes soon. Something fall and exciting and orange.

I knitted my first hat and finished it yesterday. It's a lovely pumpkin orange, made from Baby Alpaca Wool. I'm on a mission to only use recycled or hand crafted items in my work, but sometimes a bit of fancy wool is hard to pass up.

I have been craving Daniel Pinkwater (correction, ed note, I realize I meant Bruce Degen!!!! Pinkwater is the writer from Wuggie Norple. Must have been on my brain.) books lately. I might have to go on a shopping spree and pickup some Magic School Bus books or something. His art is so cheerful and exciting. Makes me want to be five again and play on the playground.

I aspire to Ms.Frizzledom. Though maybe not as magical. She may be a super teacher, but sometimes the hijinks's she gets her students into are a little scary!

Leaves, fall. 

The Japanese Maple outside our house turned bright red and then abruptly dropped almost all its leaves. It has a magic red carpet lying under it. I love dead leaves lying on the ground. Why does everyone obsess about raking them? I think they look lovely just where they are.


Friday, November 14, 2008


Too many times have I walked past hat stores and wanted to buy one of each type.

I want to be the peddler from 'Caps for Sale'. Of course in my mind he has a million types of hats, and in the pictures online he seems to simply be selling one style of cap.

The childrens mind does what they want to with information I suppose.

I imagine myself with one hat of each type and color, strolling down the street with this wild and fantastical leaning tower of Pisa rolling to and fro in the wind.

How wonderful!

Maybe even bicycling down a street with the caps, all balancing perfectly despite overwhelming odds of gravity and wind and whatnot.


I love hats.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Fool Moon Thursday

It feels good to move to a medium as easy to use as this one. A diary open for the world to read.

It's a tad scary, a tad exhibitionist, and a lot of fun.

I really like reading about what other people are thinking about in their daily lives. I get frustrated with 'social networking' sites, and I've completely abadoned AIM (AOL Instant Messenger), but I still like the community feeling of sharing your feelings and ideas openly and instantaneously with the world.

Right now it's rainy and crummy in NYC. Everyone around me has a grumpy or awkward feeling to them. I might blame the full moon for that one. But usually I like full moons.

Hmm... I almost typed fool moon. Maybe that's the truth of the matter. It's a fool moon.

Today is a Thursday. A great name for a day. I've always like the word Thursday. It's the only day of the week that actually sounds good. I could name a child Thursday. There was once a man who was Thursday, so why not a child?

I can't ignore the feeling that I too have gotten sucked into this fool moon. Why else be blogging? Even though I enjoy a freedom when I blog, I always feel guilty and self deprecatory when I do. As though my 'true luddite self' is rolling in her imagined grave.

I figure that given the amount of letters HPL (Howard Phillips Lovecraft) wrote, it's likely that if given half a chance he would've had a blog. And I'm figuring an odd website too, for good measure. Though likely on his website would just be pictures of his perfect and dying old coast of New England. His rambles through Massachusetts and pictures of Robert E Howard and Clark Ashton Smith.

Ah, a real blog by HPL. How awesome to read those archives. Though they're basically available. I've thought of reading through the volumes and volumes that have been collected as his letters, but I don't have the money or the stomach for it yet. Maybe one day if I'm bed ridden and bored. I'll read all his letters and every single Batman comic ever written. That's another one of my life goals. :D

Wish I was home with a cat and a cup of hot chocolate. But that's an option that feels far away in my future. Far far away. Though I would love to be able to just snuggle into an afghan and close my eyes and listen to music right now.

It will pass. It's just this fool moon.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

An Actual Post this time


Time to make an actual post!

I have liberated myself from Yahoo 360 and moved on to the 'Blogger'. It sounds like an ominous name. Maybe a villain from an 80's console game?

Blogger attacks you. Do you:

A: Block, turn to page 60
B: Attack, turn to page 34
C: Run away and hide, turn to page 45

Oh. I guess that's more like a 'Choose your own adventure' reference. Either way I suppose.

So I have graduated from the horror of the 360. Too many degrees available if you ask me.

Yesterday I saw a skunk eating catfood on a neighbors porch. It was large and ominous, like the Blogger. 

Beware Blogger!

Clearly I'm tired. I will post something more cohesive soon.


New Blog!

Link to the old blog archives.